Youth & Spiritual Direction | Antiochian.org Orthodox Church

Youth & Spiritual Direction

V. Rev. Joseph F. Purpura

One of the greatest needs of our young people today is Spiritual Direction. Never before have I seen more young people seeking to better understand their faith, yet at the same time I have never sensed a greater lack of spiritual direction available to them. All one has to do is spend time with young people and ask them what is going on in their lives to see this need. Ask them; what are their struggles; what is important to them, and one is confronted with young people who are asking the "big questions" of who they are and how they fit in and relate to one another and how they fit into the greater picture. Our young people want to know that their lives matter and that they can affect the world they live in a real, positive, and profound way. At the same time one also sees that our young people are confronted with issues that demand attention and answers from the Church. The Church should respond, not simply because they are questions that the Church should traditionally answer, but because the Church can and should have a profound impact on our people, particularly in these areas.

In an article written by former President Jimmy Carter, appearing in Time magazine and entitled, "Offering a Healing Hand", he states, "Medical Science is increasingly documenting the link between spirituality and physical health. A Time cover story this past June reported a new study showing that one of the strongest predictors of survival after heart surgery is the degree to which patients draw strength and comfort from religion and that people who regularly attend religious services usually have lower blood pressure, less heart disease, lower rates of depression and better health overall than those who do not."

Precisely at a time when our young people need the Church and direction from her, the Church seems to be the quietest she has been in history. There appears to be no great commitment or effort towards providing Spiritual Direction to our young people, and despite this, our young people on their own continue to seek such direction. The question becomes, if we are silent, then whom are they listening to? Again, one only has to listen to their questions, follow their discussions on the Internet or in person and look at the constant seeking for meaning in their music and other forms of media. Unfortunately, we as Church seem ill equipped, or unwilling, to provide Spiritual Direction to our young people in a way that touches their everyday life and profoundly changes its direction. We avoid talking about the issues that really matter in their lives, i.e. "Who are we, as a people of God and how do I fit in and do I belong?", "Commitment", "meaning of life", "Who God is in relation to my life and does it matter and if so how?", "Sexuality", "Abortion", "Homosexuality", "Aides", "Euthanasia" and so forth. One simply has to attend a Parish Meeting to see where the focus of our parishes are, to see that these major issues have been relegated to the domain of the Priest, when and if he has time and of course to only be done in a none-pervasive manner.

If we really want to impact the lives of our young people and make a difference in their lives, then we need to take the Spiritual Direction of our young people seriously. We can no longer focus on simple social treats for our young people, hoping somehow or another that they will fall into a commitment in the life of the Church. It simply does not happen that way. Commitment to Christ and His Church comes about by deliberate education, mentoring, and drawing into the Body of Christ of our young people. We need more people who are committed to "mentoring" and or providing Spiritual Direction for our young people, leading them into a life committed and based on Christ and His Church. This commitment will not just happen, it has to be nurtured and encouraged by the whole community. I am not talking about turning our young people into monks, though we need to do that with those who are called to such a life, but rather equipping our young people with the tools to live a full and whole life.

In so many ways we have abdicated our responsibilities as parents, educators, and the Church to society in general and in particular to the media to form our children, young people and ultimately our adults moral and ethical systems. The results of this abdication of responsibility and nurturing have been catastrophic and even deadly. It is time that the Church regains Her place, being the body of Christ, as the one who sets the agenda for moral and ethical development. This role of the Church can only take place and be effective, if the Church acts as the Body of Christ.

In studies done by "RespecTeen" of the Lutheran Brotherhood which included responses from 46,799 children in grades 6-12 from the Midwest, we see that the Church, if she acts as the Body of Christ, as a source of truth and strength and guidance can make a major difference. In the study entitled, "The Troubled Journey: A Profile of American Youth" we see the difference that positive "External" and "Internal" assets can have on our young people. "External Assets" are seen as; Family support, Parent communication, involved in Church, community organizations, parental standards, parental monitoring and so forth. "Internal Assets" are seen as; Achievement motivation, educational aspiration, school performance, values helping people, concerned about world hunger, cares about people’s feelings, values sexual restraint, friendship making skills, decision-making skills and so forth. From this list we see that the Church can not only help mentor our young people and their families toward positive assets, but that in fact the life of the Church, when the Church acts as Church is precisely that source of positive "assets" for our young people . The reverse of "assets" is "deficits".

Deficits, "are factors inhibiting healthy teenage development. They include influences which limit access to external assets, which block development of internal assets, or which ease the way into risky behavioral choices. Deficits are liabilities, none of which do permanent harm, but each of which makes harm more probable.

The ten deficits listed are associated with risky behaviors, such as frequent alcohol use, attempted suicide and high levels of sexual activity. Few students are immune to all ten."

Some of the deficits and statistics associated with them from the study are as follows:

A Spiritual Director or Mentor would surely have an impact on the above issues and would likely have a major impact, as a positive asset, and undoubtedly help reduce some of the deficits by simply spending time with the young person, let alone the other positive effects.

In RespecTeen’s report, "Healthy Communities; Healthy Youth, How Communities Contribute to Positive Youth Development" a direct link can be seen between the support structure of the community and how well the youth succeed in living life. "This study defines community health strictly in terms of the at-risk behaviors of adolescents living within the community. Thus, a healthy community is simply one in which its youth engage in a small number of key at risk behaviors." The report begins with the following statement that I feel is worth considering in our work with our young people and I believe shows a direct correlation between Spiritual Direction within the life of the Church Community,

"Picture two communities in the Midwest. Both are relatively small. Both have similar demographic and economic profiles. From a distance, these two communities seem remarkably alike.

But when you zoom in more closely significant differences emerge. You discover that more than 46 percent of youth in one of these communities engage in at-risk behaviors such as heavy alcohol or other drugs use, sexual activity, attempted suicide and delinquent behaviors. In the other, only none percent do.

What’s the difference between the two communities? What, if anything, happens in the second community that deters at-risk involvement? Can it be replicated in other communities?

Communities have a tremendous effect on the journey of children into adolescents, because adolescents spend decreasing amounts of time with their families and increasing amounts of time in peer, school, church and other community contexts.

…The findings suggest that families, schools, churches, media, businesses, government and other segments within the community must work together to address common concerns, share resources and create a better world for our young people."

The study goes on to give the specifics and what is clear from this and other studies is that we can make a major difference in the lives of our young people, the Church Community and Society itself. Spiritual Direction of our young people is a key ingredient in creating "healthy youth and healthy communities". It is this direct contact with adults who love God and love the children they are mentoring or directing that changes lives. Jesus ministered to his twelve disciples who in turned went out and ministered to others and so forth. Imagine the impact we could have if we started with the youth in our parishes, who in turn would become the spiritual directors and mentors in their communities in the future and even now as "peer counselors".

If the Church desires to have impact on society and the life of our young people, then the Church must take seriously its expected role in molding and modeling the thinking and actions of our young people. I can think of no time in the life of this country when the influence and guidance of the Church has been needed more. Edicts, statements, articles and workshops will not change the life of our people, people will change people. What is needed are role models, mentors and Spiritual Directors who can set the example in their lives, affect others by simply being who they are, be present and preach the Gospel and as St. Francis says, "and if necessary use words". I have watched over the years many young people grow and mature under the spiritual direction of a mentor or spiritual father or mother and have seen that such a relationship really does matter. Unfortunately, the great majority of our young people and adults lack such direction. We need to develop, educate and empower adults in our communities, whether they be clergy and or just good moral and ethical people to become mentors, as well as spiritual directors. Here I differentiate between the mentor and spiritual director. The mentor is the one who takes a young person "under their wing" and spends time with them, listens to them and counsels them. The "Spiritual Director" is the mature lay man or woman, or priest in the community whose own devoted life in Christ radiates with that joy and truth which comes from Christ alone and he or she willing shares that joy in counsel with others. The Spiritual Director who for many years has struggled with their relationship with Christ and others, can be found as a source of healing and direction for those of us in our own struggles with life and relationship with Christ and others.

I have no simple or methodical answers other than to say we need to start taking this responsibility and need seriously. Too long the Church has put as priority those things which are simply administrative needs and has lacked the foresight and commitment to those things that really make us the Body of Christ. If you doubt this statement simply look at the conditions of our parish agendas. Look at what sits on the agenda of virtually every Parish Council Meeting. More importantly look at the things that virtually never get discussed at a Parish or Parish Council Meeting. Read the minutes of Meetings where clergy are bold and insightful enough to stress the real needs of spiritual direction and see how it ends up getting recorded or not even mentioned in the minutes of a meeting.

I recently spent time with a Romanian Monk who was the spiritual director of a women’s monastery in the United States. I was moved and uplifted by his example. His words to me at the Liturgy as I went out to preach the sermon were, "We are not in a hurry here, take as much time as you like". I wonder how many Parish Councils would say the same to our parish priests. Again, at dinner, while eating a modest meal, I witnessed how this man generously welcomed with open arms everyone who came to the monastery for Liturgy to join us for this meal, never asking for compensation. More importantly, seeing the joy on his face as each new person walked in the door to eat and find a spot in the crowded dinning room. What marveled me most was to see out the window that they were building an addition and not once that day had I heard him or anyone else ever ask for money. When I inquired as to the date of completion of the building project he simply answered, "as God provides the resources we will continue the work". No more was said, but you could detect the sense of immense gratitude for all that had been accomplished to date. At the same time a filling peace, freedom, security and trust in God that he would provide as the need arose could be felt. Even more profound was the sense that if he did not provide then the need must not really be there at this time. It is precisely this joy and satisfaction that we need to capture, so as to dissolve away the constant greed and dissatisfaction that permeates our society and Churches and draws us so far away from God.

It is precisely the seriousness and tranquility of these monks that we need to touch the lives of our young people with, though not only monks, but the many other special people who so often quietly take a seat in our parishes. When I was a parish priest, I was often asked, during the course of pre-marital counseling, what it would take to have a long and successful marriage. I would often send these couples to spend time with some of the elderly couples in the Parish who had been married for fifty or more years. I would then ask upon their return, what did they say? I always heard a similar answer, "they said they worked at making their marriage work", "they only thought of making it work, no matter how bad it got", "it was not always this good, there were rough times and we had to really work at it". The same is true for spiritual formation, we have to work at it and at times work very hard at it, especially at those moments when we seem the furthest from God. Our young people need to hear and see other people working very hard at their relationship with God and those around them.

We all, for the most part, have those people in our parishes who seem at peace with God and themselves, though they will probably tell you that it has not always been that way. We cannot and should not underestimate the great value of joining in relationship our young people with those good and committed mature Christian people in our parishes who love God, his Church and the young people in it. Such a relationship and mentoring could have a profound and far reaching effect for the life of our young people and consequently the communities they live in. A strong mentoring program or way of life closely related and working hand in hand with the Spiritual Director of the community can and will have a profound and life changing effect.