Guiding Our Youth towards Christ
by Michelle Salamy
There is no denying that it's hard to be young in this day and age. And trying to be a follower of Christ is even harder. There's no denying that this country throws pressures at our young people a million miles a minute. There is also no denying that for parents, youth workers, priests, teachers, and etc.-there is a responsibility to guide our youth towards Christ in as many ways as possible. Our goal must be to lead them towards Him with as much love and patience as we can muster every chance we get. Our goal has to be to cement in our kids a lifestyle that breeds the active growth of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control'; against such things there is no law" (Gal. 5:22-23) So how do we do this?
First, consider this: our kids are ultimately undergoing the same pressures we are. Sure, those pressures may manifest themselves differently, but the premise is usually the same. Take for example the coveted social ladder we all strive to climb. Realize that the same reason kids so often dress a certain way, is the same reason we do. Ok, so maybe kids wear seductive clothing so that they look like the latest pop culture hit, or grab the attention of the popular people at school. But isn't that also why adults "dress for success", carrying the right purse, or wearing the correct shoes, or the perfect power suit? And what can we say about our choice of music? Do kids listen to hard core rap, or boy bands for any other reason than we might listen to say, opera, or big band? Isn't that just their version of what we like to call "being cultured"? At the end of the day, though the justification may be weak, realizing that we often teach our kids by our own actions helps us to understand that this striving for worldly acceptance by the use of mere externals is a learned behavior that they probably get from us! We too must keep in check what it is we strive for! "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God". (Romans 12:2)
Second, it is imperative that we not only teach our children that they are as important a member of the Body of Christ as anyone else, but it is imperative that we teach them in a way they understand. Translating the message of the Gospel into "teen lingo" is as important as preaching a sermon to the people in the language of the people. It does no good at all to speak Latin to a congregation that only speaks Greek. We can do this not only by talking about the Gospel and applying it to their lives today, but by living the message every day of our lives. Decision by decision is how we can exemplify the Gospel for our kids. We can encourage our children (and ourselves, for that matter) to make the kinds of decisions Christ would want us to make.
Third, I think it is our absolute duty to know what they know. One of the most important responsibilities, in my mind, we have when working with young people is to do the research! I remember one time, at a dinner with the seventh and eighth grade church school class I was teaching, parents and students were engulfed in a discussion about how to understand each other. Trying to be the "good facilitator", I asked the group who knew what a "4-20" was. Only one teenage boy raised his hand in the back. When I asked his parents if they also knew what that meant, they didn't. (Not surprising, as I hadn't known either until I spent some time researching "teen talk"). However, we all soon found out how important it was for us all to know what it meant, as it is a term used to refer to "the time to smoke pot". Granted, this teenager was not a drug user by ANY means. Granted, his parents are the most involved parents I've ever met. And we all got a good chuckle when his mother leaned over to his father and gasped through gritted teeth “Honey, WHY DOES HE KNOW THAT!!??" But the point remains the same, to truly be affective in influencing our kids; we have got to understand their language. Knowing pop culture is imperative if we ever hope to disarm its influence over our children.
Also, a simple two letter word that is so often underused in today’s society is the word "no". “No” is a simple tool that is more and more forgotten or faux pas. America, this wonderful land of opportunity has adopted and "anything goes, anything's possible" attitude. Let me be quick to say that I reject this attitude. Our job as leaders is to set boundaries. No, you cannot watch that show. No, you may not wear that out of this house. No, you may not speak to me that way. No, you may not go to that party. And absolutely, no, you may not skip church. In this day and age, at a time when our parents have worked so hard, and we continue in their footsteps-to ensure our kids get everything they want, we are easily sucked into this mode of supposed "providing". Be ware! Giving our children whatever they want is not the answer. In fact, doing so is often the opposite of providing. I know in my lifetime, the things I appreciate the most are the things I've had to work for. Sure, I enjoy things that are handed to me on a silver platter, but I often don't value them as much as I should.
Another thing to think about, and of the utmost importance, is realizing that in all things, we must guide our youth to put their fears, concerns, hopes, dreams-and ultimately, their whole lives, at the foot of the Cross. So many times in my life I have been at a choice-point, a crossroads that perplexes me silly. And I literally will be at a loss of what to do. I have struggled to make things happen by hard work, endless investment of time or resources, etc. But it is only when I turn to the Lord Jesus Christ, and begs of Him to make clear His Holy will, and not my own, that I am able to do the right thing. The same goes for our kids. Whatever their worries, whatever their fears, be it getting into the right college, or going out with a potential suitor-the point is the same...they must turn the decision over to God through prayer and submission. And remember-this behavior must be taught! XX Being a youth in America is indeed hard today. Being a parent or teacher of the youth seems even harder. But it is possible to do it well! The one thing that we can certainly take comfort in is that we can turn the whole business over to God. "No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" (Psalm 84:11) Directing our energies to obeying Him and teaching His salvific Word to our children is the only way!
Michelle Salamy is a Youth Worker in the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America