Moral and Ethical Issues

Moral and Ethical Issues:
Confronting Orthodox Youth across North America

by Archpriest Joseph F Purpura

available online from Author Books and Barnes & Noble

 

 

 

A study of nearly 800 Orthodox Christian Teens from across the United States and Canada is the focus of this project. The survey and its results are printed and examined in this work. Findings in this survey conclude that there is a direct relationship between adult/teen relationships and teen behavioral outcomes. The study examines evidence of links between alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking and other risk taking behaviors. This project identifies the many issues confronting Orthodox Christian Teens. Included is a summary of the rationale for youth ministry and the Orthodox Church’s teachings on some of the issues raised in the survey, to help youth workers begin to address these issues with teens.

About the Author The Very Rev Dr Joseph F Purpura is Chairman of the Department of Youth Ministry of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America. He is a graduate of Iona College (B.A.), St Vladimir’s Orthodox Theological Seminary (M.Div.), Yale Divinity School (S.T.M.) and Pittsburgh Theological School (D.Min.). Joseph Purpura has worked with Teens in the Church Setting since 1978. He is the father of four children, all of whom are in or have passed through the teen years, as of the writing of this book. This book reflects his insights and research spanning over the past twenty-four years of youth ministry experience.

Free Preview Young people today are confronted with moral and ethical choices at a younger age than in past decades. They are tempted to partake of illicit drugs, alcohol, and/or tobacco. They are confronted with choices of whether to participate in pre-marital sexual relations - heterosexual or homosexual or to abstain, whether to view pornography not only in secret but also on their family television or over the Internet connection from their own bedroom. These are among the many choices confronting young people today. Often they are confronting these issues as early as in their pre-teen years. The multitude of moral and ethical choices confronting pre-teens and teens often find these young people ill prepared to make responsible and educated choices. Children ought to be protected from such issues until they are old enough to deal with them maturely. The reality of our time, however, is that our society is so permeated with immoral/unethical behaviors that we as the Church, and as parents, must act to equip our children for responding in a meaningful and responsible way to all of these issues. This project will focus on the current moral and ethical issues confronting Orthodox Christian Youth. Attention will be given to the Church’s teaching concerning these issues as well as to what we as Church, as parents, as people working with and concerned with youth can do to better equip our young people for making good choices and right decisions on pressing issues. It is not the intent of this project to deal with the crises of moral decay in society by rolling back the flood of questionable presentations of inappropriate material in the media, schools and society at large. It is this author’s belief, however, that better equipping our young people to make healthy decisions will produce healthier communities.   In 1992 this author conducted a 142-question survey of teens in the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese. Much was learned from that survey, and the data produced by it led to changes in the focus of Youth Ministry efforts in the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America. As a consequence, greater focus is now placed on meeting the needs of teens in addressing current issues confronting them in their daily life. This is done through Christ-centered ministry. This approach led teens to be more aware of the issues and to better articulate the teachings of the Church on many of the social issues contemporary to 1992. Hopefully these teens were able, as a result, to make better choices in their own lives.   Much seems to have changed since those days in early 1992. Most of the teens of the early 1990s have moved on and in many cases have completed college and are now starting their careers. As a youth director working with teens on a daily basis, the need for more current tools to assess the needs of contemporary teens has become apparent. The social moral and ethical agenda as a whole has changed since what now seem ‘the quiet days of the early 1990s’. Television has drastically changed, showing adult oriented material at all hours of the day and even material that would have been unacceptable at any hour just ten years ago. The Internet has blossomed and has brought much good with it, but has also brought a whole new set of moral and ethical issues. The social agendas of many groups concerning moral and ethical behaviors once thought of as socially unacceptable have now become part of mainstream teaching in the schools and are protected by many state laws. The need to re-assess current teen life has become apparent. There is a need to measure whether we are dealing with the same issues, new ones, or a combination of new and old. We need to see what impact the major social changes of this decade are having on young people. Therefore, this author has embarked on a new, more expanded, survey of teens, particularly concerning moral and ethical issues. This new survey is identified in the remainder of this project as The Orthodox Teen Survey. This project will deal with why we need to make this assessment, why we need to be concerned with young people, what the issues are confronting them, what the Church teaches and has taught on these issues throughout Her 2000 year history as well as what we can and ought to do in response.   One only has to casually read the newspapers or listen to the evening news to understand many of the issues confronting young people. Even if the issues are not new, they are certainly more public. Greater publicity advertises such behaviors to teens, perhaps making them more susceptible to participation in those behaviors. A quick scan of one major newspaper over a period of three months, gives a glimpse of the numerous issues young people face. A February 10, 1999 article in The Boston Globe read, "Survey finds half of TV shows refer to sex, few responsibly." The article starts off by saying that sex is not exactly taboo on television, "but one subject seems to be largely off-limits, according to a major new study released yesterday: the ‘risks and responsibilities’ of sexual activity" A survey conducted by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation as reported in this news article reported that 67 percent of prime time shows contained sexual content in words or deeds.

The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code

Theories like those presented in The Da Vinci Code seem very exciting at first: they promise to reveal a new, previously hidden truth that will let us in on the secrets of life. Unfortunately, these secrets are always based on false premises.

 

The Holy Apostle Paul warns, “For the time will come when [people] will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables” (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Instead of casting aside the truth that the Church has lived and proclaimed for 2000 years, we should live “the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints” (Jude 3).

 

Open the the pdf file to read the entire review. The Da Vinci Code - reviewed by Jason Barker

Education for Teens

Free Educational Opportunity for Juniors in High School go to:

Holy Cross Seminary http://crossroad.hchc.edu/

For a 10 day program - free of charge. Apply early - applications are limited

Holy Cross Seminary - Brookline, MA

 

Youth Worker Education

Education for Parish Youth Workers

Now accepting applications for classes starting in the Fall 2008

• St Stephen's Diploma Course with a concentration in Youth Ministry
  The St Stephen's Course of Study offers a Concentration in Youth Ministry leading to a certificate
• The Master of Arts in Applied Orthodox Theology with a concentration in Youth Ministry
  Students that successfully complete the Youth Ministry Concentration Certificate will be eligible to apply for the Master Degree Program through the Antiochian House of Studies and the Balamand University

For an application and course book contact:

St Stephen's Studies
Antiochian House of Studies
385 Ivy Lane
Bergenfield, NJ 07621-1607
Tel. 201-569-0095
theoedu1@aol.com

 

St. Stephen's Youth Ministry Concentration Course of Study

Unit	Course Name
I	Fundamentals I: An Introduction to Orthodoxy
I	Church History I: The Christian Church from its Foundation
I	Liturgical Theology I: An Introduction to Liturgical Theology, Baptism, and Eucharist
II	Church History II (Post 7th Century)
II	Practical Aspects of Youth Ministry: Fundamentals of Youth Ministry
II	Youth Ministry Project 1 & Project Paper
S1	Summer 1 Residency
III	Practical Aspects of Youth Ministry: Relational Ministry and Spiritual Development in Youth
III	Holy Scripture: The New Testament
III	PatristicsI: The Fathers of the Church During the First Five Hundred Years
IV	Holy Scripture III: Biblical Topics
IV	Doctrine I: The Doctrine of Knowledge in the Tradition of the Church
IV	Youth Ministry Project 2 & Project Paper
S2	Summer 2 Residency
V	Doctrine II: The Orthodox Doctrines of the Holy Trinity
V	Practical Aspects of Youth Ministry: Moral and Ethical Issues Confronting Orthodox Youth
V	Pastoral Theology I
VI	Pastoral Theology II
VI	Practical Aspects of Youth Ministry: Designing and Building a Parish Youth Ministry (Developing a Youth Ministry Team: Recruiting, Training and Keeping Volunteers in Youth Ministry)
VI	Youth Ministry Project 3 & Project Paper
S3	Summer 3 Residency

 

 

St Stephen’s Program of Studies Youth Ministry Concentration

The St. Stephen’s Program is a graduate-level directed-reading course of studies in Applied Orthodox Theology. Successful completion of the program leads to a certificate in Applied Orthodox Theology. This paper outlines the Youth Ministry concentration of the Program.

Youth Ministry Concentration Overview

The Youth Ministry concentration in the St Stephen’s Program comprises 15 directed-reading courses, three projects, and three weeks of residency (one week each year). Each entering Class completes the coursework, projects, and residency on the same trimester schedule (two long sessions and one residency) during the course of the Program. Each Fall session includes three directed-reading courses; each Spring session includes two reading courses and one directed-project course; and each Summer session includes one week of residency in the Antiochian House of Studies.

Directed-Reading Courses

The directed-reading courses for the Youth Ministry concentration are identical to those in the standard Applied Theology concentration of the St. Stephen’s program, with the exception of four courses, which specifically focus on preparing the student for Youth Ministry. The directed-reading courses are offered in the Fall and Spring trimesters. In general, the coursework includes:

• Reading the Required Texts for each course and additional recommended reading, which often is relevant across multiple courses.
• Successful completion of the required Exam Papers (typically three for each course) at the end of the semester.
• Students without sufficient background in the subject may find it necessary to undertake some amount of remedial reading in order to establish an appropriate basis and context in which to understand the required readings.

The specific directed-reading courses for the Youth Ministry concentration are presented in a later section of this proposal. The detailed curricula for each of the four courses that are specific to the Youth Ministry concentration will be provided in a separate document. There is no change to the curricula for the other fifteen courses.

Directed-Project Courses

The St. Stephen’s Program directed-project courses are offered in the Spring trimesters (Sessions II, IV, and VI). The directed-project courses for the Youth Ministry concentration differ from the standard Applied Theology concentration in that their required focus is Youth Ministry. They generally will address a particular need in this area. The Youth Ministry Project courses include:

• A Project Proposal (abstract), which the student submits at the beginning of the Spring trimester before undertaking the project to: the Chair of the Department of Youth Ministry for acceptance of relevancy and, upon acceptance by the Youth Ministry Chair, to the Project Mentor for approval.
• The directed Project itself.
• A Project Paper with supporting detail.

Residency

The required residency courses are offered in the Summer trimesters (the last week of August or the first week of September). All students in the St. Stephen’s Program are required to attend one week of residency in the Antiochian House of Studies each year (alternating week one or week two). Students in the Youth Ministry concentration will attend the second week of the House of Studies each year and will also attend an intensive Saturday session at the beginning of the week.

Master’s Degree Program

Students who successfully complete the St. Stephen’s certificate program and who satisfy the other prerequisites, may apply to enter the Master’s Degree Program, leading to a Master of Arts in Applied Orthodox Theology. Upon successful completion of the Youth Ministry concentration of the St Stephen’s program, students may apply for acceptance into the Master’s Degree Program in Applied Orthodox Theology with an Emphasis in Youth Ministry.

The Master’s Degree Program with the Youth Ministry concentration focuses on a practical need in Youth Ministry and, in general, includes:

• Presentation of a Thesis Proposal (abstract)
• Two Trimesters (Fall and Spring) of thesis research and preparation.
• Completion and defense of the Master’s Thesis.

Examples of Youth Ministry Projects

• Extended Teen Ministry Outreach project, including preparing teens, implementing project and debriefing teens
• Designing, building and training a Parish Youth Ministry Team
• Developing and implementing a Teen Weekend Retreat
• Developing and teaching a Semester Course in Moral and Ethical Issues Confronting Orthodox Youth to teens (for at least a 4 month period)
• Designing, implementing and evaluating a Youth Group Calendar of Events
  (for at least a 6 month period)
• Teaching teens Orthodox Liturgical Music, performed and useable in an Orthodox setting (quality recording of the event required)
• Developing a web-based Youth Ministry Program
• Developing a CD-based Youth Ministry Teaching Tool for teens
• Developing and implementing a Teen Bible Study Program
• Dealing with Teen relationships – to the Church, parents, and each other

Bible Bowl

2008 Bible Bowl

The First Letter to the Corinthians, as found in the Orthodox Study Bible.

Coming Soon: Sample Bible Bowl Questions!

You may order the Orthodox Study Bible online through Conciliar Press.

For the first time English-speaking Orthodox Christians have an edition of the New Testament and Psalms that offers Bible study aids written from the Orthodox perspective. Prepared under the direction of canonical Orthodox theologians and Hierarchs, The Orthodox Study Bible presents a remarkable combination of historic theological insights and practical instruction in Christian living. If you are looking for authoritative guidance in interpreting Scripture, understanding the early church, and learning how to apply the Word of God to your spiritual life -- The Orthodox Study Bible will be a treasured resource for you.

Leather . $49.95
Hardback $29.95
Paperback $23.95
20% discount on 5 or more copies
40% disount on full cases of 12

 

Oratorical

Attention Orthodox Christian Teens:
It’s YOUR Turn to Speak Out

Sign up for the Oratorical Festival.
Speak your mind about your Faith at your Diocesan Parish Life Conference.

 

Here’s What You’ll Need:

Rules	Sample Judging Sheets
Oratorical Manual	Sample Resume, Permission Slip

Keeping in mind The 2008 Conference Theme; "At the beginning He made them male and female. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh."

Senior Division:
Speak about people being male and female in the image of God and about the role of masculinity and femininity in personal life and in the Mystery of Marriage in Christ.

Junior Division:
Discuss the sanctity of the marriage bond between one man and one woman (as defined by the Orthodox Church), and how the family is strengthened by it.

For Reference You May Wish To Consult:

-The Holy Scriptures (such as New Testament explanations of the Old Testament passage (Gen 1:27) as found in the Gospels and letters of St. Paul).

-The Marriage Service of the Church and other liturgical and hymnographic texts.

-The lives of the saints.

-The twenty-seventh verse from the first chapter of the Book of Genesis, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them."

Click here for more information about your Diocesan Parish Life Conference.

The Deadline for Entries: Two Weeks before each PLC, so get started today.

Don’t be shy.
Just get up and express Orthodox Christianity, the Eternal Faith.
You’ll be glad you did—and so will we.

Talking to your children

Does it matter if we speak with our children?

 

By Archpriest Joseph Purpura

 

Recent research by the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese Department of Youth finds that it really does matter what we say to our children. As parents we often wonder if our children are listening. Nearly 800 teens tell not only are they listening to what their parents and clergy are saying but also that it has profound impact on what they themselves believe and do. Interestingly the study by the Department of Youth found a direct link between parent and teen’s relationships, how many issues parents have spoken to their teen and the outcomes of teen behavior.

 

 

How well a parent and teen got along with each other (according to the teen's assessment) had a direct effect on how likely a parent and teen were to discuss an issue. For example:

Teens rated “How well they got along with their Parents …”	And the percent of those parents who have spoken to their teens concerning pre-marital sexual relations
Very Well	49%
Fairly Well	47%
Not Well at all	4%

 

 

How well I get Along with my Parents	My Parents have discussed their feeling about Birth Control
Very Well	52%
Fairly Well	44%
Not Well at all	4%

 

 

How well I get Along with my Parents	My Parents have discussed their feeling about Abortion
Very Well	52%
Fairly Well	44%
Not Well at all	4%

 

 

How well I get Along with my Parents	My Parents have discussed their feeling about Homosexuality
Very Well	50%
Fairly Well	40%
Not Well at all	5%

 

How well I get Along with my Parents	My Parents have discussed their feeling about Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases
Very Well	52%
Fairly Well	43%
Not Well at all	4%

 

The fact that parents speak to their children is vital in that there is a direct correlation between whether parents have spoken with their teens on these issues and whether the teens believe that such behaviors are morally right or wrong.

 

If parents spoke to their child about the issues in their life and those surrounding them, the teens tended to have a healthier more Orthodox understanding of moral and ethical behavior. This is significant in that we want our teens to live a righteous life that is rooted in their relationship with Jesus Christ. The study suggests that teens are more likely to live a healthier life if they have a good relationship with their parents and if their parents speak to them on the issues. What is not known from the study is whether parents have good relationships with their teens because they speak with their teens on current issues in the teen’s life or if parents and teens that get along better tend to talk more about the issues. It is the opinion of this writer that it works both ways and both support and build upon one another.

 

 

The following tables show the positive impact that parent child - parent teen discussions on the issues can have on the thinking of teens: Teens who believe that abortion, pre-marital sex, and homosexuality are wrong apparently are influence by whether their parents have spoken to them on the subject or not. In fact in most cases teens whose parents have spoken to them on the issues are 2 – 3 times more likely to see the above behaviors as morally wrong.

 

Abortion

Concerning Abortion, my parents Have spoken to me and I	What teens believe concerning Abortion
believe abortion is wrong	75% say it is wrong
believe abortion is right	4% say it is right
am not sure if having an abortion is right or wrong	19% say they are not sure

The figures in this table mean that of the teens whose parents have spoken to them on the given subject the percent is of the teens of that group who believe a particular way. For example in the above table of the 464 teens whose parents have spoken to them concerning their feelings on abortion 75% of those teens believe that abortion is wrong, while only 4% say it is right. This is significant because within the 323 teens whose parents have not spoken to them 6% believe it is right and 38% are not sure if it is right or wrong and only 55% think it is wrong, This indicates that parental discussion on the issues has a significant impact on the outcome of a teens thinking. The following tables represent similar findings.

 

Pre-Marital Sex

My Parents have spoken to me concerning Pre-Marital Sex and I	What teens believe concerning Pre-Marital Sex
Believe it is wrong	72% say it is wrong
Believe it is right	4% say it is right
Am not sure if it is right or wrong	23% say they are not sure

Of those parents who have not discussed this issue with their teen 10% believe pre-marital sex is right compared to only 4% above.

 

Homosexuality

My Parents have spoken to me concerning Homosexuality and I	What teens believe concerning Homosexuality
Believe it is wrong	74% say it is wrong
Believe it is right	5% say it is right
Am not sure if it is right or wrong	19% say they are not sure

Of those parents who did not discuss this issue with their teens 8% believed homosexuality was right and another 31% were not sure if it was right or wrong.

 

Nearly as significant as parents’ discussions with teens, both clergy and parent support of teens and discussion of the issues from both have a profound impact on what teens believe. It has been long known that the Church and the Family are meant to support one another. It is apparent in this study that the alliance between the two really does matter and brings about a healthier way of thinking in the minds of teens. The following tables show the impact that Parent/Clergy communication with teens can have on the teen’s values:

 

 

Concerning Pre-Marital Sexual Relations,	Of the 85% who believed that Pre-Marital Sex is wrong
My Parents only spoke to me	18.5%
A Clergyman only spoke to me	20.5%
Both my Parents and a Clergyman spoke to me	46.5%
Neither spoke to me	14.5%

The findings above suggest that we are nearly three times more likely to be successful in bringing about right moral and ethical thinking when both parents and clergy work together rather than either alone.

 

Teens will speak to their parents and clergy when given the opportunity and made to feel safe in doing so according to the teen survey. Sixty-five percent of the teens said that they would discuss a serious moral matter with a clergyman. I would venture to say that if more teens realized the love their pastors have for them and the wealth of wisdom that their priests posses and that in fact their priests understand the issues they are going through, more teens would be willing to speak to pastor and other clergy. Experience suggests that teens either think their pastor is too busy (which at times is true) or simply does not understand the issues they are going through, as many teens do not contemplate the fact that their pastor went through adolescents much as they now are doing. Similar obstacles stand in the way of parent and teen communication. For many years both as a priest and as a youth worker I have said that quality time is important, but so is the quantity of time we spend with our children and teens. Nothing can replace significant adult involvement in the life of young people. If we only spend a small amount of quality time with our young people, we most likely will never be around long enough for our teens to think that we have time for them and for them to become comfortable being around us and eventually opening up to us.

 

 

Sixty-five percent (65%) of teens in the survey said that they would discuss a serious moral matter with a clergyman.

I would discuss a serious moral matter with	Yes
Only to my pastor	192- 24.5%
Only to another clergyman	98 - 12.5%
With both my pastor and another clergyman	221- 28%

Of those who would not discuss a serious moral matter with a clergyman, another 7% would discuss it with their youth director, meaning that 72% of the teens would be willing to turn to someone in the parish in a ministry role.

 

Reading the Bible also appears to have an effect on behavior. Those who report reading the bible at least weekly report the following behavior compared to those who did not regularly read the Bible.

Showing Behavior, as a percentage of total teens	Read the Bible at least Daily	Read the Bible at least Weekly	Do not read or read less than once a week
Were involved in Pre-marital Sex	.63%	1.14%	7.97%
Drunk Alcohol in the past twelve months with friends	2.02%	6.08%	34.43%

 

One behavior certainly affects other behaviors. Teens that drank alcohol with their friends in the past twelve months were more than 3 times more likely to have had sex than their peers who reported not having drunk alcohol in the past twelve months with their friends.

 

Other significant parallels in one behavior affecting others:

 

• Of those teens that reported having been forced to have a sexual relation, 41% also reported having had sex on other occasions, compared to only 9% in the general survey and if you pull out the 48 who reported being forced into a sexual relationship, the percentage of teens in the overall survey that reported having had sex was 7%.

 

• Of those teens that reported having had sex with someone of the same sex, 77% of them reported drinking alcohol in the past twelve months, compared with 41% of teens in the general population of the teen survey participants, who drank but did not engage in homosexual behavior.

 

• Of the 41 teens reported to have taken illegal drugs, other than marijuana or cocaine, 85% of them reported also having drunk alcohol in the past twelve months.

 

Those who took illegal drugs were more than twice as likely to have considered committing suicide (56%) than their peers who did not take drugs (24%).

 

· Of those 137 who reported having used marijuana in their lifetime, 121 (88%) also reported drinking alcohol in the past twelve months.

 

· Of the 41 who reported other drug use 32 also reported having used marijuana, meaning that 78% of those who used other drugs also used marijuana.

 

One behavior certainly does affect other behaviors. The teen study shows that we can not take any one behavior lightly as all of the risk-taking behaviors such as smoking, alcohol; pre-marital sex and so forth can lead to and make it that much more likely that teens will engage in other risk-taking behaviors. How we choose to relate to our teens does matter. We need to talk with our children and teens on a regular basis as to what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior. The process of dialoging with our teens needs to start from early childhood and continue throughout the teen years and early adult years. It is our choice, as parents and clergyman, as to whether we will be involved in the moral and ethical formation of our children and teens. Our young people will form their thinking and behaviors on these issues. We can have a very positive influence on their moral and ethical formation if we choose, or we can abandon our responsibility and allow others to form our children based on their agendas and lifestyles.

Who is teaching our children

Who is teaching our children their Moral and Ethical Values?

by Archpriest Joseph Purpura

As a parent of four children, three of whom are teenagers, I witness the multitude of moral and ethical values that they are constantly presented. I am also amazed just how much at odds those values often are with each other. There is moral and ethical values imparted to them from Television and the Theatre. There is the moral and ethical values that their peers expect of them, which depending on the group (i.e. sports, academic decathlon team, chess team, theatre group, church youth group, etc) often in and of themselves vary. There is their music, the Internet, their schoolteachers and the school environment as a whole, where one would expect high values to be imparted. Recently my tenth grader's class held what was called "Awareness Week" where such topics as the "Myth of Masculinity" and "Gay and Lesbians: Awareness and Acceptance" were two of the main topics. At this point I began wondering who is setting the moral and ethical agenda for our young people and I asked where and what is the responsibility of the Church and parents in this process. I well remember one of my Seminary Professors saying that they got through the teen years of their children by "talking with their children and talking and talking." Recent studies tell us that the average parent spends about two minutes each day in meaningful conversation with their teenagers. Telling your child to clean their room, empty the garbage, go to bed, get up, brush your teeth, go to school, don’t count as meaningful conversation according to the authors of the study. Two minutes a day, no matter how meaningful, may not be enough to compete with the multitude of other moral and ethical values being presented to our youth. We need to spend a meaningful amount of time with our children to really know what is going on in their life, what they are thinking, and what outside influences are forming their moral and ethical values.

The Conference theme this year is, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) This scripture passage conveys to us that we need to actively lead, in fact train, by example, words, and encouragement how our young people ought to live their lives. If in fact we want them to "Live the Orthodox Faith in Christ," then we need to show them how this is done and encourage them and enable them to do the same. In order to do this we need to be present with our children and teens. Our young people need examples of righteous people, but they also need the presence and encouragement of their parents, pastors, youth leaders, teachers and other members of the community to do that which is right in the sight of the Lord. As communities and as families we need to ask ourselves what are we doing to "train" our children and young adults to live their lives as members of Christ’s Body. Are we taking the time to discuss with them the moral and ethical issues that confront them in their lives. If we do not help them form their values someone else will and in fact is. Taking an active role in forming our young peoples values is as important, if not more important, to their being "successful" in life, than making sure they have the right clothes to wear, that they make it on to the right sports team, or that they get the best education. When asked, many young people say that their parents and the Church do not discuss with them many of the current issues in society, such as pre-marital sex, sexuality in general, abortion, homosexuality, euthanasia, capital punishment, adultery and so forth. This lack of discussion most likely means that our young people are left to form their moral and ethical values based on what they see and hear in the media, from the school system, and their peers, void of the teachings of their Church and parents. We need to ask if this is what we want for our children.

I am sure virtually all parents want their children to grow up with and utilize good moral and ethical judgment. We need to actively participate as parents and as the Church Community in the "training up" of our children. We need to be present and active in their lives if we hope that they will live righteous lives. We need to encourage and assist one another as parents and as Church Communities to do all that we can to teach our children the moral and ethical values of our Christian values so that they will have the ability to make good choices in life. Our children need to hear from us that is an objective right and wrong. They need to hear and see that it is good and expected that they and all of us do that which is good. They need to see us and hear that it is expected that we share the gifts and talents that God has so richly blessed us with, that to help others is not simply something that is nice but that it is expected of us as Christians. They need the support, the encouragement and the knowledge to know that it is good that they remain virgin until marriage. They need to hear and see us act accordingly, despite what the media portrays, that extra-marital affairs are wrong and extremely damaging to all involved including the communities that we live. They need to know that just because society says certain lifestyles and actions are acceptable, that it does not make it right. They perhaps know in their hearts but are confused by the messages they receive in school and in the media and so we need to be bold and say; that the scriptures say homosexuality is wrong, that abortion is murder, that life – no matter whose life it is – is sacred.

All of us, parents, pastors, youth leaders, church school teachers, members of the various organizations of the Church and members of the Church community need to take the time to listen to our young people. Likewise we need to enter into their lives in an appropriate way and to enable them to enter into our lives and the life of the Church Community. In so doing they can gain the support needed to live a life as a member of Christ’s Body. Making good Moral and Ethical choices is essential to the health of the Church Community and our country. We need to do all that we can to "train up" our children, so that they can make good choices and so that "when they are old they will not depart from the Church. Most importantly we need to enable our young people to choose the Way of Life and not the way of death.

Whose Children Are They

Whose Children Are They?

 

By Archpriest Joseph Purpura

 

If we are interested in bringing young people into a relationship with Christ, then we must ask the question, "who is raising OUR children." Certainly from a moral and ethical perspective we need to look at who and what is molding our young people's beliefs. Is it the media, the schools, parents, clergy, the Church through youth groups and church school, their friends, or other adults? From a recent survey conducted on teens of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese the answer appears to be, "all of the above," - at least some of the time. The next questions ought to be: who do we want to be molding the moral and ethical fiber of our young people, and where do we want them to seek their answers?

 

If our answer is that it ought to be us as parents, then we need to communicate with our children and young adults on these important issues. A survey, conducted by the Antiochian Archdiocese Department of Youth Ministry in 1999 of 790 Orthodox Christian teens, tells us that while a number of parents are talking to their Middle School and High School Students, too many are not.

 

According to this survey of Orthodox Christian Teens, the following percent of parents have spoken to their teens on the issues listed below: 

 

My Parents have spoken to me concerning their feelings on:	Yes
Pre-marital Sexual Relations	69%
Birth Control	38%
Abortion	59%
Euthanasia	34%
Homosexuality	63%
Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases	65%
Marriage	71%
Fidelity in Marriage	64%
Dating	81%

By 7th grade most school systems have already spoken to our children through formal health classes and other venues on these issues. Many teens watch television shows, and movies at the theaters, that involve all of the behaviors listed above. Most teens speak with their peers about these issues and often seek answers from one another. Studies done across North America, including our own, show that High School and even Middle School Students already have opinions formed on these issues and in some cases engage in many of the behaviors listed above. While, on average, two-thirds of parents speak to their children on these issues, many of our teens are receiving information and forming opinions with or without parental input.

 

As a parent, I see it as my role to educate, dress and feed my children, who have been gifted (loaned) to me by God, the very best I can. Just as importantly, God also expects, and I expect of myself as a parent, to equip my children to discern between what is right and wrong behavior in their everyday life. As a parent I have a choice; I can remain silent and let my children form their moral and ethical values based on whatever they pickup along the way, or I can take an active role in the development of my children and help educate and mold their beliefs. Rarely, is there such thing as children and teens forming their own independent opinion on any of these issues. All of us form our beliefs based on the input of our experiences and what others share with us. So, as a parent, the choice is: do I help my children form their values, or do I leave it to others to do so without my input. Many parents have shared with me the fact that they do not feel they can speak to their child on some of the issues for fear that their teen will ask what they did as a teen or as an adult on these very issues. I offer the following: If I love my child and I know that I have made a mistake in my life and I know how painful that mistake was, how much more I as a loving parent should want to better equip my child to not make the same mistake. At the very least, I should want my child to be better equipped to make his or her decisions than perhaps I was.

 

Parents need to communicate with their children early in life and on a continuing basis. Whether we want it or not, our children are exposed at a very young age to most of society’s issues and problems. While we try our best to shield them from as much harm as possible, we still need to equip them to handle these issues for the time when they will be confronted by them. If we want to equip our children to discern between right and wrong behavior, then we need to communicate what is acceptable and what is not. To leave our children to figure it all out on their own is to put them at great risk and in fact to turn over their moral and ethical upbringing to whomever and whatever enters into their lives.

 

Parents should take courage in knowing that their teens want their parents involved in their life and in fact our teens rate their parents as the number one influence in their lives. When asked who they would turn if struggling with certain issues "Parents" was the number one response for the following issues:

 

• If I had a question about sex

   

• If I were deciding what to do with my life

   

• If I was deciding whether it was right or wrong to have an abortion

   

• If some of my friends started using alcohol or other drugs

   

• If I were having trouble in school

   

• If I were struggling with moral or ethical issues

   

94% of the teens said that they get along "fairly well to very well" with their parents. 72% percent of teens say their parents’ involvement in their life is just right, while another 7% wish their parents were more involved, 20% said their parents were too involved. When it came to discipline, 71% of teens said their parents were just right with them, while 27% said their parents were too strict and 2% said their parents were not strict enough.

 

Teens gave their parents very high marks when asked if their parents have discussed the following with them: 

 

My parents have discussed with me their feelings about:	Yes
their religious faith	86%
issues concerning our Church	88%
issues concerning the World	81%
issues concerning me	94%
family problems and interests	89%
my school day	82%
my school	96%
truthfulness	96%
lying	94%
stealing	85%